What Happened to my Life?

Hello everyone!

I am Brittney and I am from Ontario, Canada. I am a first time Mommy (I love referring to myself as “Mom” – I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that!) to a beautiful baby girl who is almost 4 months old named Ella-Grace.

I am also a loving housewife to my gorgeous hubby, Ryan. Although we’re not actually married, I’ve decided that we live the married life with a child so he might as well be my hubby. In my opinion, the “boyfriend” title went out the window around the same time the days of being able to do whatever we want to do with our lives went out the front door.

You know, when I was pregnant with Ella, everyone would constantly tell me “make sure you live a little before she gets here”, “go on vacation before the baby gets here”, “enjoy your you & Ryan time before she gets here”. While they were telling me this, I can admit I was a little bitter.. (I like to blame it on the pregnancy hormones though). I just kept thinking, “how could you?” “I’m gunna be a mom, not a grandma.” “Life is still going to be the same, but better with a baby”, “Ryan and I don’t need to do anything before she gets here, we’ll be able to do lots with the baby!”. Well… how wrong was I! I really should have listened to everyone. They totally knew what they were talking about.

And hey, before you get all ‘judgy’ on me, please know that I absolutely adore being a mom and I wouldn’t change my life for anything! I just truly was naive to how much my life would change. Looking back, just a few months mind you, but I wish I had done some more things. I wish Ryan and I had been spontaneous and randomly decided to go to Cuba or for a road trip to travel Canada, or something. Just anything. I mean, I know we can still do these things with precious Ella, it’s just… I can’t be half naked and drunk on a beach somewhere real hot while I’ve got a newborn to care for.

I guess I’m just feeling like I haven’t done anything with my life. My life has been the farthest thing from spontaneous, the farthest thing from adventurous, and the farthest thing from extravagant. It’s just been typical. I graduated high school, went straight into college. Stayed in college to get three diplomas; then I went to University and got a Bachelors degree. All the while, working my butt off doing night shifts and day schooling to attempt to make payments on my ever growing student loan. Then I met Ryan, and we were only together a year when I gave birth to Ella. Really not much of a life… but definitely thousands and thousands of dollars in school debt!

But, as much as I’ve just rambled on complaining, I also wouldn’t change my life if I could. Obviously this is the way it was meant to be and I do love it. Instead of taking joy in my great grades at school or the impact I’m making at work, I now take joy in watching my baby girl grow while learning new things and having dinner on the table for Ryan at a reasonable time every day. And really, this is okay with me! This is my family. They are happy. They are fed. We live in a clean house. And this just shows how my hard work pays off. I don’t need extravagant experiences or spontaneousness in my life to be happy; they make me happy.

If any of you ever have moments of feeling the way that I do sometimes, please just know you are 110% not alone! And that means it’s normal right!? It has to be.

Well, this is my plan for my blog. Sharing my thoughts, feelings, and experiences from being a first time mom to all of you! We should be able to talk about this. Talk about the millions of questions of “is this normal” that we are constantly asking ourselves and even talk about the mistakes we make along the way… because it’s inevitable. We’re human, and we’re going to make mistakes. A LOT of them!

Until next time, thanks for reading!

Much love from my home to yours,

Britt xoxo